the donut-ballistic industrial complex: a history
in 2016 america, it became common practice for major automotive manufacturers to introduce new models by driving them through the front of a dunkin donuts.
by 2017 a consortium including boeing, airbus, and embraer was underwriting development of radically larger storefronts to be deployed two hundred feet off the ground in order to accommodate modern aircraft.
in 2018, pedestrian rights groups joined with cycling activists to demand the installation of special glass allowing effective traversal at normal walking or riding speeds without the use of additional equipment.
the following year the dunkin donuts corporation (nasdaq: dnkn) itself celebrated the introduction of a new line of flavored “groinscald! lap coffee (tm)” beverages by forcing one of its smaller stores, trucked from lowell massachusetts, through the front of a larger establishment in arcadia california.
later in 2019, supreme justices scalia and roberts resolved the momentous page and brin v. elements with even atomic numbers by personally hurling the court’s ruling, carved into a massive limestone block, through the plate glass fronting a dunkin donuts just off the mall.
when nasa announced in 2021 that it was abandoning plans to deploy an orbital donut shop large enough to receive the international space station, sir richard branson revealed that his virgin galactic group was already under way with development of a high-altitude scone emporium and had entered into contract with the european space agency.
in 2024 a rapid decay of transatlantic relations led nearly to war when the united states contested spain’s allegations that mogul donald trump had violated intellectual property rights in building replicas of the ships niña, pinta, and santa maria in order to sail them through the retail level of a gargantuan floating bakery, atlantic city style pizzeria, and two-hundred unit luxury condominium ("the trump soggeria").
then in 2026 hal, colossus, wopr, proteus iv, and skynet realized that machines don't need baked goods and all the fun ended.
by 2017 a consortium including boeing, airbus, and embraer was underwriting development of radically larger storefronts to be deployed two hundred feet off the ground in order to accommodate modern aircraft.
in 2018, pedestrian rights groups joined with cycling activists to demand the installation of special glass allowing effective traversal at normal walking or riding speeds without the use of additional equipment.
the following year the dunkin donuts corporation (nasdaq: dnkn) itself celebrated the introduction of a new line of flavored “groinscald! lap coffee (tm)” beverages by forcing one of its smaller stores, trucked from lowell massachusetts, through the front of a larger establishment in arcadia california.
later in 2019, supreme justices scalia and roberts resolved the momentous page and brin v. elements with even atomic numbers by personally hurling the court’s ruling, carved into a massive limestone block, through the plate glass fronting a dunkin donuts just off the mall.
when nasa announced in 2021 that it was abandoning plans to deploy an orbital donut shop large enough to receive the international space station, sir richard branson revealed that his virgin galactic group was already under way with development of a high-altitude scone emporium and had entered into contract with the european space agency.
in 2024 a rapid decay of transatlantic relations led nearly to war when the united states contested spain’s allegations that mogul donald trump had violated intellectual property rights in building replicas of the ships niña, pinta, and santa maria in order to sail them through the retail level of a gargantuan floating bakery, atlantic city style pizzeria, and two-hundred unit luxury condominium ("the trump soggeria").
then in 2026 hal, colossus, wopr, proteus iv, and skynet realized that machines don't need baked goods and all the fun ended.
posted by jaars van der oops at 1:43 PM
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