musicians needed

musicians eagerly sought to participate in live performances of

- Vladivostok Supermarket Jazz

- Deep-Sea Timpani Works

- Microminiaturized Intra-Sinus Bacterial Rumba

- the widely unappreciated Eons 'n' Eras Plate Tectonic Waltz

- the Linus Pauling Millennial Sock Drawer Hum

- the refrain from Bill Shatner's "Paunches Ho!"

- the New York to Paris Ballistic Clavichord Rondo

- the Tender Messiah Thirty-three Lashes Salute

- Ridley Scott's "In The Space Shower Everyone Can Hear You Sing"

- the Flatland Narrow Tuba Fugue

- Fanfare For The Twice-Taken Dump

- the Fat Man and Little Boy Fission Round

- Wham-O's Oratorio For Resurrected Sea Monkeys

- the Hypocrite Senator Men's Room Gargle (in 5/4)

- the allegro section of the John Merrick Busted Gland Endocrine Sonata

- the theme from NBC's canceled "Abraham and Isaac: Hilarity Ensues"

- the fascinatin' rhythms of Gweilo White-Boy Honky Drone

- Eva Braun's Toasty Bunker Hop

- the children's chorus from the John Holmes rock opera "Parabolic Gamete Arc"

- Chrysler's Skipped Tune-Up Rod Throw in D

- the Dian Fossey Rhythmic Pelt Preening Cantata

- the Sherwin-Williams Lead Pigment Duet for Nursery Wall and Nervous System

- Catherine Bach's Taut Denim Aria

- the forgotten overture from "The Hindenburg And The Zippo"

- John Philip Sousa's rousing Kimchee Kraut And Slaw Flatus March

- Woodward and Bernstein's Investigative Elevator Music

- early-form Spurned-Electron Ionic Rock

(and)

- the American Dental Association's Million Man Molar Grind